the Taco Dead

I saw my friend James yesterday. But today he was missing! I decided to put on my best Magnum P.I. shirt and began to search for my chubby lost comrade. I began my search at the local Lucky Cheese, the Lucky mascot said that he last saw James leaving the building while holding a large brief case.
What could this mean? Could my missing round pal be a spy, a villain or both? All these questions raced through my head and I knew that I HAD to find the truth. I then went to James’s house and thanks to his nice yet REALLY old mom, I was able to go to his room to search for clues. Man oh man did I found something. Besides all the old McAronald posters covering the walls, there were tons of photos of the Chi Wawa mascot from Taco Horn. Now that little pooch has been pushing up daisy’s for many years so I wondered why would James have all this on his walls, yes I know he’s a big food fan but still this was pretty creepy. I began to think that all this chi Wawa weirdness was noting, until I saw the else was on James’s desk. His desk was covered in old scriptures and scrolls that told about an ancient slab that has the power to resurrect dead food mascots. Now things were really starting to become strange and something told me that something dark was afoot and that I was the only one to stop it. After I had some of James’s mom’s fantastic cookies, I headed back to the Lucky Cheese in order to get more information.

Thankfully the mascots were more than happy to inform me on what they thought was going on. The Chickey Chick mascot told me that the slab is as old as the first human civilization and has the power to not only bring back the dead but also summon ancient beings into our world. She also told me that she and her fellow Lucky Cheese mascots are the protectors of the slab. But the main question was how could James get his hands on such an artifact? The mascots confessed that they had no choice to give him the slab because he threatened to eat all the buffets cinnamon buns and knowing James he would have carried out that threat. With the ancient slabs powers revealed and seeing all those Taco Horn Chi Wawa photos, I know knew what my friend or should I say foe was planning to do. I then asked the Lucky mascots where James would need to go in order to perform a mascot resurrection and they said the most likely place would be the Pet grave yard on the edge of town. So I drove off to that destination while hopping that I was wrong on what James is going to do.

Later that night I had arrived at the Pet grave yard and my worst fears were true. My round food loving friend was going to use the slab to bring back the Taco Horn Chi Wawa. I confronted my comrade turned nemesis and he said that he wished to bring back the Taco Horn Chi Wawa because Taco horn was never the same since their adorable little mascot bit the dust. I then began to try to reason with by saying that it’s wrong to disturb a beings eternal rest, but the wide fool didn’t listen. He then began to say chants from the slab and thunder and lightning began to roar loudly. Then a dark light came to shin out of the ground and out of it came the little taco loving dog, fully restored.

The little Necro pooch looked exactly like the way he did in the commercials, but he had dark demonic skin and burning red eyes. James was beyond thrilled to see his favorite fast food mascot back, but the party was short lived for the reborn dog began to attack James with its tiny yet lethal claws. Turns out that the resurrected Chi Wawa was now a slave to the dark forces of the neither beyond and it was now up to be to put the little guy’s soul to rest for good. I pulled the grave of Jeffery the Goldfish out of the ground and gave James a well-deserved smacking. I then grabbed the slab and with one great thrash to the ground, I shattered it to countless pieces. The little zombified dog then began to decay to dust and I had the privilege to see the Taco mascot soul descend to the sky to continue his never ending rest.

The next day, I rejoined the Lucky Cheese mascots for a celebration dinner. James was in custody and the world was once again safe for living beings and it was all thanks to me! But the party was short lived for the Lucky mascot told me that there are many other artifacts that could bring back fast food mascots from the grave and it was then that I had discovered my new destiny, it was to protect the living world from food icons of the nether realm. If there’s a friend who wants to bring back any dead mascots, I shall be there to save the day once more.

THE END